I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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