i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
accomplished twins. life is a go
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
