you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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