Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
They are going to name an STD after you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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