either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We are two peas in an std pod
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
