He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
