Just fell off a train. Bad.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it glows. i had to have it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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