He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
