I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
