i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
