i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
