is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
