So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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