i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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