Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
