Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
