Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
