its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
