My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
