I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
