What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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