State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
