Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
