in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
