It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The adults are the big ones right?
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