is this the sara with the beer cane?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
