Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
