His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I will be naked everywhere
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
