So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
