and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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