i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
