i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
