Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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