I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
