she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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