Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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