Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
