Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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