I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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