The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
