go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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