Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
