Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
