So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
