Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
