Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
