oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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