i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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