this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
