Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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