bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My bed smells like the plague
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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