Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
