After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize