do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Randomize
