stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
