Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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