he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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